Sunday, August 23, 2015
I am not in a polyamorous relationship, but I am polyamorous.
I am not in a (sexual) relationship with a woman but I am bisexual.
I do not go to a specific church, but I am spiritual and have faith.
I am still something.
I am still part of a community.
I still deserve representation.
Friday, July 10, 2015
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
So this is day 2 of my weight loss journey. Yesterday i started taking Performix SST and drinking a crap ton of water.
Yesterday, I felt good and energized, today I just feel like I have to pee all the time. I'm a little disappointed that I'm not feeling the energy bump i did yesterday. Oh well. Keep on going.
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
1. Style - Taylor Swift
Right now this is the top of my list for songs that remind me of an ex. Plus it reminds me of my favorite porn star. Bitter Sweet.
I say "I've heard that you've been out and about with some other girl"
(Some other girl)
He says "What you've heard is true but I
Can't stop thinking about you and I."
I said "I've been there too a few times"
2. True Companion - Marc Cohn
This song reminds me of the first husband. He "purposed" to this song. So now I always think of him. It really is a beautiful song.
3. Gives you Hell - The All American Rejects
This is really a good flying middle finger song, excellent for breakups!
4. You Oughta Know - Alanis Morissette
The kick ass break up anthem of the 90s. I mean come on, nothing like a woman scorned.
"And are you thinking of me when you fuck her..."
5. You Were Meant for Me - Jewel
Also harkening back to the 90s, you know that you should be together, you were meant for each other, this song exemplifies this. Hunker down on the couch with that ice cream, and have a good ugly cry while rocking out.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
2. The We-Vibe 4 + - The we vibe cause quite a stir when it came onto the market, currently on its 4th or 5th incarnation, the We-Vibe 4 plus is an awesome toy that is remote controlled, manually controlled or through an app on your phone. Its shaped like a "U" both ends vibrate, one can be inserted vaginally while the other sits on (Or near in my case) your clit. It can be used solo or during sex. My only complaint is that my anatomy isn't super well suited for the distance between the motors.
3. Shibari My Wand 10x - This is a massage wand similar to the hitachi and others like it. This thing is powerful, has different vibration patterns and honestly my go to when I just want to get off quick and move on with my day. Attachments are available for this.
4. Rope - No brand in particular, no type, just love rope. I love being tied up.
5. Riding Crop - This is another generalization, I love to be spanked so this is a wonderful implement for that.
Sunday, April 26, 2015
<3 all="" br="" to="" y="">3>
Friday, April 24, 2015
I have always rooted for the bad guy, in Phantom of the Opera, Christine should have ended up with the Phantom. Its just my particular bent I suppose. Something about evil, power and arrogance is just sexy. Not relationship material but fucking hot none the less.
I have never really stopped to examine this past a certain point, cause well fantasies exists as fantasies for a reason, and are rarely as good in reality as they are in our minds. Oh well... back to dreaming of strong hands, a wicked grin and world domination.
Thursday, April 23, 2015
I think my favorite out of the compilation was "The Smith Under the Hill" a woman in control, saving her brother, and ending up in love with a fairy Prince. Yeah. Im good with that, plus it was very reminiscent of Holly Blacks "Tithe" and "Iron Side" which made me rather happy honestly, but I will go one about Holly Blacks trilogy at another time.
"Sealed" was also wonderful as it dealt pretty closely with old Irish mythology about selkies (a type of fairy, kind of mermaid ish.).
The strong BDSM/Kink tones in the stories are not like in some anthologies I have read where the sex is so rough it is almost abusive and triggering. I very much enjoyed the overall feel of the book and the stories we compelling for the most part. This, I have a feeling, will end up being a book I lend out and not get back. I know I enjoyed it.
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
On the note of pregnancy prevention, there are as many choices and options as there are stars in the heavens (for women) Everything from natural family planning methods to sterilization! Male birth controls have been in the works for years but nothing has been set in stone or ground breaking. Not as many options exists for the prevention of disease transmission. You really only have barriers. Condoms (Both male and female), Gloves, and dental dams. Luckily these are all pretty easy to come across.
Testing regularly is also a good idea. I have a full STD Panel done once a year and again if I am changing partners.
My current partner and I are fluid bonded, and have been for 10 years. (Meaning we have exchanged bodily fluids). Now this only protects us if we use a barriers with other partners and if we are open and honest about who we are sleeping with etc. This also (obviously) doesn't protect against pregnancy. Currently since we are 18 hours away from each other, we are not really concerned with pregnancy prevention, but I prefer a natural planning method that utilizes things like you basal body temp, the consistency of your cervical mucus and keeping track of your period to predict ovulation, and your fertile/not fertile days.
So what are your thoughts on safer sex?
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
What consent is - Saying yes
What Consent is NOT - No, not tonight, maybe, saying yes then changing your mind, not saying no, being drunk, kissing someone, being nice, flirting, a short skirt, tight jeans, etc etc etc...
Why is consent important? Why do I think consent is important? Consent is important because if NOTHING else it is a way to avoid misunderstandings. It protects all parties involved. Consent may not always be sexy but it should always be the most important thing you have.
Monday, April 20, 2015
Finally alone in their tent Rayne couldn’t keep her hands off of Bri, she wound her fingers in the hair and pulled her close, kissing her lips hard. Bri moaned against the other girls mouth as if to beg for more. The kisses trailed across Bri’s chin and down her neck as Rayne pushed her coat off and lifted at the bottom of her shirt.
Dont forget to enter the giveaway for a chance to win a copy of The Rose Garden: A Collection vol. 1
Sunday, April 19, 2015
Amazon will let you put them out on Kindle ...
The Rose Garden Vol 1 will be available for pre-order (probably monday)
I am super super super excited about this, it will only be avail on Kindle for now but if it does well hopefully we can get picked up or I can get some hard copies published...
Actually, who would be interested in a hard copy giveaway? Like I can look into ordering 1 or 2 and hosting a giveaway??? Signed copy ;)
The stories re all linked starting with the character "The Baron" ending with "Marcel".
Anais's writing is not that of soft fantasies, some of the stories are dark even cruel in nature. The stories of Delta of Venus were written for a collector who told her to "Leave out the poetry". I don't see that having been done here. The Delta of Venus is the first bit of her writing that I had actually read and I am in love with the woman and her writing. It has something that a lot of writers seem to lack in modern erotica.
The preface of the collection is selections from The Diary of Anais Nin, Volume III detailing the time period in which the stories were written and the circumstances, which seemed unfavorable at best.
Published by Tess Press
Saturday, April 18, 2015
I keep getting asked this, I was talking to the husband about it last night. Someone asked me what my dream job would be and I said "Housewife/stay at home mom/porn star" which got laughs, but seriously, that's kind of my dream job. I mean throw accomplished writer in there too and it would be perfect. The follow up question is always "Why?" and not why do I want to be a mom/stay at home wife but why porn?
I guess it has to do with the fact that I like sex, that I want to change the industry to something more positive, that I like the money (not as great as you think kids) that I want body positivity to play more of a role in the industry. I want to make a difference in other people sex lives.
I know that I want to see more women like myself out there, curvy, "normal" tattoo'd women. I want to see more respect towards the female cast. I want to be a part of that change. Plus... I like sex.
1 - Demons
So I am sure that I deleted the post where I talked about my obsession with evil and how much it turns me on. I have dreams on the regular of a strong demon taking me with little to no regard for how I feel about the situation.
2 - Being worshiped.
What woman doesn't want to be an object of desire and the center of attention.
3 - MMF 3some
This one is pretty inline with the above, but also the element of having 2 cocks instead of one... 2 dominant men.... 2 sets of hands... 2 mouths... mmmmmmmmm
4 - Being Used
Now this one is really a fantasy, I wouldn't ACTUALLY want to be used and abused then left, but the idea of it is rather hot. I generally picture a strong male lead, lots of oral and a fast hard fuck before being left to ponder what had happened.
5 - The Boss
I have fantasized more than once about sleeping with the boss, whether it be for a promotion or just the torrid affair, sweeping the contents of a desk top to the floor and fucking hard and fast before we get caught.
Something that is a constant theme in my fantasies is male dominance. While I do have a sadistic streak a mile wide and like to make boys cry, I just prefer my sex to be male dominated.
Friday, April 17, 2015
Thursday, April 16, 2015
I took the book and plopped down in the over-sized chair to read it, got through the first few chapters then abandoned it on the drive back to Colorado forgetting about the book for a number of months.
I picked it up again yesterday, taking it to work with me to fill in the void between calls at my, unusually quiet call center. I finished it today before lunch.
I was very pleased with how easy the book was to read, not in content but in I couldn't put it down. I have always been interested in what it was like to work in a brothel and Miss S doesn't blow smoke up your ass about what her experience was like. It was a nice read that went by all too quickly for me. The end of the book also has some sex tips and tips for working in a brothel/as a sex worker. All in all a compelling read and was worth picking up.
I do recommend picking this one up if you like Belle De Jour/Secret Diary
From Amazon Description:
"A university art student with rent money due, she spots an ad for a different type of student job - in a brothel. Offered a job on the spot, Miss S is amazed by her new working world. Suddenly, she can earn enough money doing something she is good at and get all the sex she needs."
Published Sept 1 2008
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
So I have spent the last year in a mono relationship with my husband, after us starting the relationship as members of a polycule. And I have figure out... Im not poly. I think I need to back up a bit...
I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder when I was about 18. Many of the symptoms of BPD (*Impulsive and risky behavior, such as risky driving, unsafe sex, gambling sprees or illegal drug use *Feeling misunderstood, neglected, alone, empty or hopeless *Fear of being alone *Feelings of self-hate and self-loathing) cause me to place a lot into other people for my self esteem, and I have balanced a lot and I mean A LOT of my self worth on sex and whether or not people want to have sex with me, find me sexually attractive or even remotely interesting. This has led me to looking outside of my relationships for that attention. I cheated... a lot.
Now, when I realized that I did look outside of my relationships,I talked to my partners and we decided that a poly/open relationship was a good choice, and I was able to maintain a few poly relationships till the fear of abandonment caught up with me and I was convinced that my primary partner was going to leave me so I would FREAK out with jealousy and rage and not be able to cope with my life anymore. This is what happened with my most recent relationship. Luckily it worked out for the best for S and I, but it could have ended VERY badly. It turns out that I am a very jealous person when the crazy kicks in.
I thought that being poly would help/fix things, but it just delayed the inevitable. Im not poly, Im just slutty, and there's nothing wrong with this. I make a conscious effort everyday NOT to stray from my relationship parameters and so far we are doing well in that area. I make a decision every day to recognize that my self worth doesn't come from the attention of others. Everyday I wake up and remind myself that my husband loves me, hes not going to leave (at least not anytime soon) and that I am worthy of his love. Sometimes I do want to stray, I do want the attention of someone else, more often than not I just want a shiny new toy that I know I will get bored with soon after acquiring it, then go crawling back to my partner. Instead of making that choice I choose to just write about torrid fictional affairs... it helps.
I do still believe that I am capable of loving more than one person at a time, but I don't feel that I can maintain more than one romantic relationship at a time.
I would like to note that this is only MY journey with polyamory, should not be considered a blanket opinion on polyamory nor as a judgement against others. I am very supportive of the poly community and will continue to be. <8 b="">8>
What I have found that helps is catching him earlier in the day, not just at bedtime. By the time we are crawling into bed I have no desire to do anything but sleep. Also watching porn together has been helpful, Im not sure that its the porn itself or just the both of us working together on a common goal lol.
Mornings are the worst, as I am waking up is not the time I am wanting to be grabbed at and groped lol. I just want my coffee so I can get ready to go to work. I am NOT a morning person at all.
On the upside things seem to be getting better for me, I am not as put off by the idea of having sex so that is a major bonus. I am looking at going back on anti-depressants as well which should help a great deal.
How do you combat no sex drive??
So I am back... in all of my former glory *cough cough* or something.
I am making content again.
I am still head covering however, it is a way to separate my lives out. Keeping my home and married life out of my porn life (For the most part). I have really missed writing and talking to people. I have missed giving advise. I have missed posting pics for you. I have missed it all and I am back.
If you dont already, follow me on twitter @RosesThornes
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
This morning i was inspired to create a rain water collector fir my garden bed, basically all it is is a hove bottle with a funnel, and holes drilled in the bottle.
I plan on burying it most of the way in the garden, so the funnel will collect watery into the bottle which will then slowly release the rain water into the surrounding soil. I will probably make a few different versions of this to place throughout my boxes and try to rig up some other versions for the green house.
Thursday, February 5, 2015
I keep seeing more posts about women who get naked to reclaim their bodies, and I am doing the opposite, I am covering up. I spent 10 years working (off and on) in the adult industry, in this way being naked/ uncovered is not a way for me to reclaim my body for me. Covering it all up has given me peace, and made me feel special again. I feel that my husband respects me more, I feel better about who I am as a person and I feel a closer connection to my spirituality.