Monday, January 16, 2012

A Note on Safer Sex

So we have all heard "There is no such things as safe sex, abstinence is the only way to protect yourself 100%" and this may be true, but there are ways to reduce the risk or disease transmission and pregnancy prevention.

On the note of pregnancy prevention, there are as many choices and options as there are stars in the heavens (for women) Everything from natural family planning methods to sterilization! Not as many options exists for the prevention of disease transmission. You really only have barriers. Condoms (Both male and female), Gloves, and dental dams. Luckily these are all pretty easy to come across.

Testing regularly is also a good idea. I have a full STD Panel done once a year and again if I am changing partners.

My current partner and I are fluid bonded, and have been for 10 years. (Meaning we have exchanged bodily fluids). Now this only protects us if we use a barriers with other partners and if we are open and honest about who we are sleeping with etc. This also (obviously) doesn't protect against pregnancy. Currently since we are 18 hours away from each other, we are not really concerned with pregnancy prevention, but I prefer a natural planning method that utilizes things like you basal body temp, the consistency of your cervical mucus and keeping track of your period to predict ovulation, and your fertile/not fertile days.

So what are your thoughts on safer sex?

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Friendly Ex's

"Let's stay friends."
"I hope we remain friends..."
"I don't want to lose you from my life..."

I both love and hate hearing those words from an ex, granted I am usually the one to push for friendship in the long run, but I do try to witr for the healing period to be over before perusing a platonic relationship. My most recent ex and I have decided to stay friends after our break up just a little over a month ago. It has been an interesting road. There have been arguments, there have been tears (at least on my side, dunno about him) and there has been a lot more or at least better communication between us than there was in the last 2 or so months of our relationship. He has pointed out things about myself that I didn't see and I have enlightened him about things that were issues for me from his side of the relationship. This has been the most open we have been with each other in the better part of the 4 years we have known each other.

So the question I pose to myself and to you all is this: Can Ex's successfully be friends?

I have really started to look at this, I have quite a few ex's that I consider myself to be friends with but how many of those relationships are successful? How many have lingering anger or resentment? How many have lingering Lust or love that supersedes a platonic level?
(not that there is anything wrong with sleeping with an ex or wanting to sleep with friends.)

How many of these friendships are forced and strained? Thats what I am really looking at right now. How many of my ex's am I actually friends with and how many am I kidding myself about?