Journey

I am seriously thinking about writing more about my spiritual journey up till now and through confirmation? I want to share with the other women in the world my path, what has brought me to where I am now.

I keep seeing more posts about women who get naked to reclaim their bodies, and I am doing the opposite, I am covering up. I spent 10 years working (off and on) in the adult industry, in this way being naked/ uncovered is not a way for me to reclaim my body for me. Covering it all up has given me peace, and made me feel special again. I feel that my husband respects me more, I feel better about who I am as a person and I feel a closer connection to my spirituality.

I am a tatted up former sex worker who left the Church at about age 13. I started going back to Mass Dec 2013. I started covering my head full time Dec 2014. I am starting to go to RCIA on Monday evenings. I feel much more fulfilled since I started on this path than I had in many many years. I'm not really ashamed of my past even though at time I do feel awkward around other religious folks.

It's not typical for a catholic woman to wear her hair covered at all times, or even during mass these days, but there is a movement of women in the Church who have taken up the veil again for Mass and even those of us who wear a covering full time. I choose to cover full time even though its not prescribed by the religion. Covering and modest dress have become a way for me to connect with my spirituality. I cleaned out my closet and got rid of a few items that were just, well nothing I wanted to be seen in public wearing again... The attention I once received from men has almost completely diminished. I am no longer stared at and leered at. I don't see people walking into walls because they were busy staring at my chest, and I see how this is affecting my husband. He seems happier, more secure in our marriage, and I suppose just more at peace. I feel that it has changed the nature of our relationship for the best. I no longer feel sexualized by every person I come into contact with.

When I started covering just a little over a month ago, it was only when I was leaving the house, it has become so natural for me to just be covered that even when I take my scarves off I end up putting on a wide headband or slouchy hat. Removing the distraction of constant attention and sexualization from others, I have been able to focus on my spiritual life and on working on me. I pray now, I attend mass regularly, and because Im not focused on everything else I can focus on my relationship with G-d and with my spouse.

My Review of Ceridwen's Cauldron

Originally submitted at LUSH USA

A magic spell for the skin named for a shape-shifting Celtic sorceress who conjured up a potion to grant the gift of poetic inspiration. You may just do some transforming yourself if you bathe in this magical mélange of skin-softening butters, soothing oatmeal and the bewitchingly clean fragra...

Ceridwen's Cauldron

My Favorite

By Briar Rose from Denver CO on 9/24/2012

 

5out of 5

When you survey your stash, you label this product: Most Wanted

Pros: Softens Skin, Lasting Effect, Smells Great, Relaxing, Soothes Irritated Skin

Best Uses: Bath, Gift

Describe Yourself: Normal Skin, Sensitive Skin, Dry Skin

This is one of my all time favorites, hands down. Its witchy, wonderful and long lasting. I cut it in half and use have at a time and its more than enough for one bath.
Leave my skin soft, smells great, doesn't leave the tub too slick.

(legalese)

My Review of Sunny Side

Originally submitted at LUSH USA

These glamorous bars turn your bath water into liquid gold. Sink into the glowing white bubbles and revel in the sparkling gold water while inhaling blissful sweet orange, lemon and tangerine essential oils. This glorious bar will help you see the sunny side of things even when you're feeling g...

Sunny Side

So much Love!

By Briar Rose from Denver CO on 9/24/2012

 

4out of 5

When you survey your stash, you label this product: Guilty Pleasure

Pros: Pleasant Smell, Easy To Use, Rich Lather

Best Uses: Baths

Describe Yourself: Brand Buyer

I was concerned that this was going to leave glitter EVERYWHERE and it didn't. My bath was sparkly, bubbly, and smelled wonderful. So much love!

(legalese)

A Note on Safer Sex

So we have all heard "There is no such things as safe sex, abstinence is the only way to protect yourself 100%" and this may be true, but there are ways to reduce the risk or disease transmission and pregnancy prevention.

On the note of pregnancy prevention, there are as many choices and options as there are stars in the heavens (for women) Everything from natural family planning methods to sterilization! Not as many options exists for the prevention of disease transmission. You really only have barriers. Condoms (Both male and female), Gloves, and dental dams. Luckily these are all pretty easy to come across.

Testing regularly is also a good idea. I have a full STD Panel done once a year and again if I am changing partners.

My current partner and I are fluid bonded, and have been for 10 years. (Meaning we have exchanged bodily fluids). Now this only protects us if we use a barriers with other partners and if we are open and honest about who we are sleeping with etc. This also (obviously) doesn't protect against pregnancy. Currently since we are 18 hours away from each other, we are not really concerned with pregnancy prevention, but I prefer a natural planning method that utilizes things like you basal body temp, the consistency of your cervical mucus and keeping track of your period to predict ovulation, and your fertile/not fertile days.

So what are your thoughts on safer sex?

Friendly Ex's

"Let's stay friends."
"I hope we remain friends..."
"I don't want to lose you from my life..."

I both love and hate hearing those words from an ex, granted I am usually the one to push for friendship in the long run, but I do try to witr for the healing period to be over before perusing a platonic relationship. My most recent ex and I have decided to stay friends after our break up just a little over a month ago. It has been an interesting road. There have been arguments, there have been tears (at least on my side, dunno about him) and there has been a lot more or at least better communication between us than there was in the last 2 or so months of our relationship. He has pointed out things about myself that I didn't see and I have enlightened him about things that were issues for me from his side of the relationship. This has been the most open we have been with each other in the better part of the 4 years we have known each other.

So the question I pose to myself and to you all is this: Can Ex's successfully be friends?

I have really started to look at this, I have quite a few ex's that I consider myself to be friends with but how many of those relationships are successful? How many have lingering anger or resentment? How many have lingering Lust or love that supersedes a platonic level?
(not that there is anything wrong with sleeping with an ex or wanting to sleep with friends.)

How many of these friendships are forced and strained? Thats what I am really looking at right now. How many of my ex's am I actually friends with and how many am I kidding myself about?

Thoughts?