Why do we cheat? What drives us to sleep around? What pushes us into the arms of another lover?
Well I can't speak for everyone, or even every situation that I have been in but I do know why I keep going back to the same lover, even when it means hurting the ones I am with at the time. I want to say that I do warn partners about this person, but no one believes me. I tell them "If person X and I are in the same place, I will sleep with them" and partners always just smile and say "Aww you wouldn't do that to me" Well guess what? Person X and I were in the same place, I slept with him and now your pissed off at me, because you didn't listen. Should I have slept with PX? No. Am I alone in my fault? Nope, I gave you fair warning.
I have cheated for a few different reasons, I was unhappy with my partner's sexual performance, I wanted revenge, and in the case of PersonX because I am in love with him and we have had this on again off again thing for years. Its what we do, we hook up, talk about the future and make love. Love doesn't make what we do right, but it makes it worth it. I love him and he loves me. There will be more on PersonX later as the New Year goes on but for now, this is really all ya get for now.
Whatever your reason for cheating, please keep in mind what it will do to your partner when they find out. It hurts. It sucks. I have been cheated on and I hated it (which is why I warn people about PersonX). No one likes to be hurt. Examine the reasons why you want to cheat/stray, talk to your partner, maybe you can work something out with them.
I know what people say about me behind my back because of my actions. I am not proud, but I am happy with who I am. I wont apologize for doing what I have felt was right for me. I will apologize for hurting others though, for that I am truly sorry.
"Cant forget, wont regret, what I did for love..."
It's sounds to me like you're poly and always have been that way. To try to go against your nature is to try to be someone other then who you are. I'm really happy that you are happy out there and wish you well. Colorado has a lot better energy at least :). Maybe when you meet a parnter, you should always tell them you are poly and that is just the way you are. Happy new year!! -Lorie
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