These are the top 5 songs that make me think of ex boyfriends, past relationship, happy or sad.
1. Style - Taylor Swift
Right now this is the top of my list for songs that remind me of an ex. Plus it reminds me of my favorite porn star. Bitter Sweet.
I say "I've heard that you've been out and about with some other girl"
(Some other girl)
He says "What you've heard is true but I
Can't stop thinking about you and I."
I said "I've been there too a few times"
2. True Companion - Marc Cohn
This song reminds me of the first husband. He "purposed" to this song. So now I always think of him. It really is a beautiful song.
3. Gives you Hell - The All American Rejects
This is really a good flying middle finger song, excellent for breakups!
4. You Oughta Know - Alanis Morissette
The kick ass break up anthem of the 90s. I mean come on, nothing like a woman scorned.
"And are you thinking of me when you fuck her..."
5. You Were Meant for Me - Jewel
Also harkening back to the 90s, you know that you should be together, you were meant for each other, this song exemplifies this. Hunker down on the couch with that ice cream, and have a good ugly cry while rocking out.
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
Saturday, April 18, 2015
Top 5: My Top 5 Fantasies
A top 5 of my favorite fantasies - some realistic some not so much
1 - Demons
So I am sure that I deleted the post where I talked about my obsession with evil and how much it turns me on. I have dreams on the regular of a strong demon taking me with little to no regard for how I feel about the situation.
2 - Being worshiped.
What woman doesn't want to be an object of desire and the center of attention.
3 - MMF 3some
This one is pretty inline with the above, but also the element of having 2 cocks instead of one... 2 dominant men.... 2 sets of hands... 2 mouths... mmmmmmmmm
4 - Being Used
Now this one is really a fantasy, I wouldn't ACTUALLY want to be used and abused then left, but the idea of it is rather hot. I generally picture a strong male lead, lots of oral and a fast hard fuck before being left to ponder what had happened.
5 - The Boss
I have fantasized more than once about sleeping with the boss, whether it be for a promotion or just the torrid affair, sweeping the contents of a desk top to the floor and fucking hard and fast before we get caught.
Something that is a constant theme in my fantasies is male dominance. While I do have a sadistic streak a mile wide and like to make boys cry, I just prefer my sex to be male dominated.
1 - Demons
So I am sure that I deleted the post where I talked about my obsession with evil and how much it turns me on. I have dreams on the regular of a strong demon taking me with little to no regard for how I feel about the situation.
2 - Being worshiped.
What woman doesn't want to be an object of desire and the center of attention.
3 - MMF 3some
This one is pretty inline with the above, but also the element of having 2 cocks instead of one... 2 dominant men.... 2 sets of hands... 2 mouths... mmmmmmmmm
4 - Being Used
Now this one is really a fantasy, I wouldn't ACTUALLY want to be used and abused then left, but the idea of it is rather hot. I generally picture a strong male lead, lots of oral and a fast hard fuck before being left to ponder what had happened.
5 - The Boss
I have fantasized more than once about sleeping with the boss, whether it be for a promotion or just the torrid affair, sweeping the contents of a desk top to the floor and fucking hard and fast before we get caught.
Something that is a constant theme in my fantasies is male dominance. While I do have a sadistic streak a mile wide and like to make boys cry, I just prefer my sex to be male dominated.
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
Not poly, just slutty.
And I don't mean slutty negatively ... at all. There is NOTHING wrong with being slutty.
So I have spent the last year in a mono relationship with my husband, after us starting the relationship as members of a polycule. And I have figure out... Im not poly. I think I need to back up a bit...
I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder when I was about 18. Many of the symptoms of BPD (*Impulsive and risky behavior, such as risky driving, unsafe sex, gambling sprees or illegal drug use *Feeling misunderstood, neglected, alone, empty or hopeless *Fear of being alone *Feelings of self-hate and self-loathing) cause me to place a lot into other people for my self esteem, and I have balanced a lot and I mean A LOT of my self worth on sex and whether or not people want to have sex with me, find me sexually attractive or even remotely interesting. This has led me to looking outside of my relationships for that attention. I cheated... a lot.
Now, when I realized that I did look outside of my relationships,I talked to my partners and we decided that a poly/open relationship was a good choice, and I was able to maintain a few poly relationships till the fear of abandonment caught up with me and I was convinced that my primary partner was going to leave me so I would FREAK out with jealousy and rage and not be able to cope with my life anymore. This is what happened with my most recent relationship. Luckily it worked out for the best for S and I, but it could have ended VERY badly. It turns out that I am a very jealous person when the crazy kicks in.
I thought that being poly would help/fix things, but it just delayed the inevitable. Im not poly, Im just slutty, and there's nothing wrong with this. I make a conscious effort everyday NOT to stray from my relationship parameters and so far we are doing well in that area. I make a decision every day to recognize that my self worth doesn't come from the attention of others. Everyday I wake up and remind myself that my husband loves me, hes not going to leave (at least not anytime soon) and that I am worthy of his love. Sometimes I do want to stray, I do want the attention of someone else, more often than not I just want a shiny new toy that I know I will get bored with soon after acquiring it, then go crawling back to my partner. Instead of making that choice I choose to just write about torrid fictional affairs... it helps.
I do still believe that I am capable of loving more than one person at a time, but I don't feel that I can maintain more than one romantic relationship at a time.
I would like to note that this is only MY journey with polyamory, should not be considered a blanket opinion on polyamory nor as a judgement against others. I am very supportive of the poly community and will continue to be. <8 b="">
So I have spent the last year in a mono relationship with my husband, after us starting the relationship as members of a polycule. And I have figure out... Im not poly. I think I need to back up a bit...
I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder when I was about 18. Many of the symptoms of BPD (*Impulsive and risky behavior, such as risky driving, unsafe sex, gambling sprees or illegal drug use *Feeling misunderstood, neglected, alone, empty or hopeless *Fear of being alone *Feelings of self-hate and self-loathing) cause me to place a lot into other people for my self esteem, and I have balanced a lot and I mean A LOT of my self worth on sex and whether or not people want to have sex with me, find me sexually attractive or even remotely interesting. This has led me to looking outside of my relationships for that attention. I cheated... a lot.
Now, when I realized that I did look outside of my relationships,I talked to my partners and we decided that a poly/open relationship was a good choice, and I was able to maintain a few poly relationships till the fear of abandonment caught up with me and I was convinced that my primary partner was going to leave me so I would FREAK out with jealousy and rage and not be able to cope with my life anymore. This is what happened with my most recent relationship. Luckily it worked out for the best for S and I, but it could have ended VERY badly. It turns out that I am a very jealous person when the crazy kicks in.
I thought that being poly would help/fix things, but it just delayed the inevitable. Im not poly, Im just slutty, and there's nothing wrong with this. I make a conscious effort everyday NOT to stray from my relationship parameters and so far we are doing well in that area. I make a decision every day to recognize that my self worth doesn't come from the attention of others. Everyday I wake up and remind myself that my husband loves me, hes not going to leave (at least not anytime soon) and that I am worthy of his love. Sometimes I do want to stray, I do want the attention of someone else, more often than not I just want a shiny new toy that I know I will get bored with soon after acquiring it, then go crawling back to my partner. Instead of making that choice I choose to just write about torrid fictional affairs... it helps.
I do still believe that I am capable of loving more than one person at a time, but I don't feel that I can maintain more than one romantic relationship at a time.
I would like to note that this is only MY journey with polyamory, should not be considered a blanket opinion on polyamory nor as a judgement against others. I am very supportive of the poly community and will continue to be. <8 b="">
Short Story - Home Coming by Rhiannon Bowen-Mackey (Rose Thornes)
Homecoming...
His fingers trailed down her body as she laid there watching him. She
had agonized about this moment for weeks, months even. She wanted this
so, much she couldn't even think straight the last days before he got
there. Her pussy would ache just at the thought of his touch and her
heart would break thinking about him leaving again.
They had be separated for a year now by the better part of the
country, he had moved away when he joined the military. She loved him so
very deeply and now he was back in her arms. She smiled down at him as
he laid sweet kisses across her belly as he moved down her body. As he
reached the line of her underwear he looked up at her with that wicked
grin she had grown accustom to over the years.
She watched him as he hooked his fingers into the line of her panties
and slowly pulled them down her hips and off of her legs. Slowly he
kissed back up the inside of her thigh and lays the sweetest, most
gentle kiss on her lips before slowly probing her with this rough wanton
tongue. Rose arches her back at his touch and a soft moan escapes her
lips. Too long has she waited for this, quickly growing impatient she
bucks her hips against his movements drawing closer to the first orgasm.
The white light behind her eyes was blinding as she came. He groaned as
he lapped up her sweet juices.
Jay moved and positioned himself above her ready to enter her with his
large cock. She never realized how much she could miss one man's member
so much. Her hips lifted as he slid into her tight waiting pussy. His
movements were slow and deliberate. She wanted him to move faster inside
her, she was hungry for him and needed to him just let go and take her,
Rose moved her hips in time with his, as their pace increased so did
the warmth in her belly and the aching need for a second climax. The
sweat glistened on their skin during their lustful dance, she was so
close to reaching the point of no return when he stopped pulling out
coaxing her to flip onto her hands and knees reentering her roughly with
the passions high. Jay pounded into her fast and hard now both moaning
loudly and screaming. God she missed this. Soon they were both coming
together, as they collapsed into a heap on the bed she cooed sweetly at
him and kissed his forehead.
“Welcome Home...”
They laid there together for some time just enjoying each others company. After a bit Rose sat up and smiled down at Jay.
"Should we go grab some dinner babe?" She asked sweetly. She
watched as he mulled it over in his head, he nodded and stood pulling
on his jeans and t-shirt. his arms encircled her waist and he pulled her
close kissing her neck.
"But only if I get you for desert!" He whispered against her neck. He knees felt weak all over again, Rose giggled and nodded.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Friendly Ex's
"Let's stay friends."
"I hope we remain friends..."
"I don't want to lose you from my life..."
I both love and hate hearing those words from an ex, granted I am usually the one to push for friendship in the long run, but I do try to witr for the healing period to be over before perusing a platonic relationship. My most recent ex and I have decided to stay friends after our break up just a little over a month ago. It has been an interesting road. There have been arguments, there have been tears (at least on my side, dunno about him) and there has been a lot more or at least better communication between us than there was in the last 2 or so months of our relationship. He has pointed out things about myself that I didn't see and I have enlightened him about things that were issues for me from his side of the relationship. This has been the most open we have been with each other in the better part of the 4 years we have known each other.
So the question I pose to myself and to you all is this: Can Ex's successfully be friends?
I have really started to look at this, I have quite a few ex's that I consider myself to be friends with but how many of those relationships are successful? How many have lingering anger or resentment? How many have lingering Lust or love that supersedes a platonic level?
(not that there is anything wrong with sleeping with an ex or wanting to sleep with friends.)
How many of these friendships are forced and strained? Thats what I am really looking at right now. How many of my ex's am I actually friends with and how many am I kidding myself about?
Thoughts?
"I hope we remain friends..."
"I don't want to lose you from my life..."
I both love and hate hearing those words from an ex, granted I am usually the one to push for friendship in the long run, but I do try to witr for the healing period to be over before perusing a platonic relationship. My most recent ex and I have decided to stay friends after our break up just a little over a month ago. It has been an interesting road. There have been arguments, there have been tears (at least on my side, dunno about him) and there has been a lot more or at least better communication between us than there was in the last 2 or so months of our relationship. He has pointed out things about myself that I didn't see and I have enlightened him about things that were issues for me from his side of the relationship. This has been the most open we have been with each other in the better part of the 4 years we have known each other.
So the question I pose to myself and to you all is this: Can Ex's successfully be friends?
I have really started to look at this, I have quite a few ex's that I consider myself to be friends with but how many of those relationships are successful? How many have lingering anger or resentment? How many have lingering Lust or love that supersedes a platonic level?
(not that there is anything wrong with sleeping with an ex or wanting to sleep with friends.)
How many of these friendships are forced and strained? Thats what I am really looking at right now. How many of my ex's am I actually friends with and how many am I kidding myself about?
Thoughts?
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